Things Are Happening, You Just Can’t See Them Yet

So unless I’m mistaken I have something coming out later this month in the inaugural issue of the very cool Bad Apple Zine, as well as a short story in Open Thought Vortex scheduled for July, and then there’s a couple things with no dates set yet that I don’t want to mention ahead of time since they fall under the umbrella of “I really don’t know.”
Second draft of a novel is done. Complete. It finished month and a half sooner than I planned on, and all ~100,000 words were done in the space of a single month, which ended up being the most prolific month by far of my life. I’m going through piles of writing, of prose and essays, of articles and short stories, of diagrams for story structure for future projects and screenplay projects that people have asked me to be a part of and it can all very easily be summed up as, “I’ve got a lot going on right now and everything seems quiet but it’s probably going to get a whole lot louder very, very soon.”
My start date of the great literary agent search is going to be at the tail-end of this month, but I’m already getting lists of names together that I plan on combing through. I’m not self-publishing this novel but I might self-publish a novella later in the year. Who the hell knows. The more you limit yourself to one venue the more you limit your audience and I think that people in every camp of “ways to put art out” are all making a binary issue out of something that shouldn’t be; we can put anything we want out at any time and can still go through the “traditional” channels everyone who makes anything should be using all of these venues all the time instead of hunkering down in some corner, planting a flag, ranting about why you’re “right” about the way things should go and dying in a corner screaming about something a whole nobody cares about. Just make shit and get it out there. Make things people see. (He said, while sitting on a pile of unreleased things.)

I’m borderline overwhelmed with ideas, with projects and with work and am having a lot of 12-16 hour days on the regular lately and “days off” don’t seem to exist. And I really don’t want them, at all. My life keeps getting weirder and weirder by the minute and I don’t want things to progress any differently. I don’t feel satisfied, I don’t feel successful and I don’t feel like I’ve ever done enough and I think those are all extremely important things to feel if you want to keep feeling that drive to push yourself harder, to move forward faster and to do better things.

I don’t care about most things people are supposed to care about and I don’t really value a lot of the things people are supposed to value and I just do not care about much else other than what it is that I am doing which is, ultimately, making things, trying to say something, trying to create something and getting them in front of people. “Exhausted” is a word I am constantly refusing to let myself feel and it’s fantastic. There is nothing better than ending a day feeling totally drained from making things and ripping things out of your skull and spraying them across some sort of canvas or page or screen or any other thing artistic mediums use.
So, basically: shit’s happening, you just can’t see all of it yet, and I am excited about all of it coming out.


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